There was an oversight in the March edition of the Eagle. The articles, “Polar swimmers take a plunge,” “The Dark Knight rides in style,” and “O’Neal trade generates mixed feelings,” were fake news. These articles were supposed to be for a contest that was going to have the winners announced in the April issue for our readers.

The reason they were fake was to challenge our readers to figure out which articles could be potentially fake. The contest would have required our readers to go to our website and submit guesses and we hoped that this would inspire our readership to surf our newly designed website. However, because the contest was never mentioned in any capacity, readers did not know that there was even a fake news contest to begin with.

I am sorry for the mix up. In the spirit of April Fool’s Day, here are some “real” fake news articles.

MLA mistakes causes instructor to tattoo head

By Susie Creamcheese Eagle Guest Writer Chicago, Il.- Frustrated at students’ lack of proper use of the Modern Language Association’s (M.L.A.) format, Chicago campus RMC English instructor David Pyle has gotten a tattoo as a visual reminder. “I really was having a hard time getting students to see it in the confines of the classroom,” said Pyle. “So, I thought, ‘Tattoos are becoming more accepted in today’s society, so hey, why not? I got the real estate [up here].’” More...

Coca Cola steals O’Neal from Pepsi with contract reportedly worth 23 trillion dollars

Remember those younger days, when mom would remind us to say “please” and “thank you?” Well, there was a reason for that: It makes people feel good. When people go out of their way to provide a helping hand, teach a valuable lesson or even just hold the elevator door, it truly is rewarding to hear those two simple words of gratitude. So, in addition to thanking mom for instilling good manners, there are certainly more than a few familiar faces at Robert Morris College who merit thanks.

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“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” It has been many years since Bill Clinton said those now famous words. However, with so many sex scandals rocking the political scene in America once again, it does not seem like those words were uttered so long ago. That is because, while the scenarios in each individual scandal are markedly different this time around, the underlying question is still the same. Do Americans have the right, and reason, to interfere with and hold knowledge of the personal lives of their elected officials?

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For a holiday full of practical jokes and playful pranks, a delightful menu of surprises will surely please the palates of all your pals. Surprise your friends and family with dishes that are “more than meets the eye.” Whether you want to make Chicken-Not-Pie or a Cashew Stir-Fry you are sure to fool and create some fascinating folly!

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