Voices & Opinions
Confidence is Key
By Greg HopkinsCopy Editor
I was with a friend today,
and both he and I saw the
most beautiful girl sitting
down working on some
homework. My friend
became instantly infatuated
with this girl, and wouldn’t
stop talking about her, asking
me for advice about what he
should do to get her attention,
and how he should approach
her. Basically, he turned into
a neurotic mess over an
encounter with someone he
didn’t even know. This situation
got me thinking that, as I
have been writing on mostly
serious topics lately (Mothers
Day, politics, and Virginia
Tech,) I should try something
that rings a little closer to
home: women.
Every time I watch some
guy turn into a whiny, whimpering
schoolboy over some
random girl, I am virtually
amazed. What is it about a
woman that turns men into
complete cowards? It seems
to me that somewhere along
the way signals got crossed
and men got the impression
that acting like a woman is
the best way to get one.
As it was with my friend,
a man will look at a woman,
think to himself, “Wow, she is
amazing,” and then chicken
out before even talking to her.
There is no reason for this
kind of reaction. No random
person should have so much
emotional power over another.
The problem can be broken
down into little kneejerk,
psychological reactions
that many men have when
dealing with women. The
effect these reactions have on
their confidence level, which,
as confidence is the single
most attractive quality a man
can possess, ruins any chance
they have immediately.
First of all, when you see
an attractive woman out in
public, the first thought that
pops into your head shouldn’t
be how incredible she is. Be
honest with yourself, you
don’t know anything about
her. She is just attractive,
nothing more, nothing less. If
you remove her from this
pedestal, your first encounter
becomes more about whether
or not you like her personality,
instead of it being all
about you fighting for her
attention.
Second, compliments and
pick-up lines are not the way
to get a woman’s attention.
Trust me on this one: life isn’t
a Will Smith movie. You need
to be yourself. You have been
yourself for a very long time
and by now you should be
pretty good at it. When you
try to use some rehearsed persona
on a woman, she is
going to know, because it
won’t seem natural, which, in
turn, makes you seem unconfident.
When you compliment
a woman too much, it seems
fake, like you don’t really
mean it. Women aren’t stupid;
if you are talking to her, she
knows you are already interested.
Complimenting her
more than once or twice just
makes you seem desperate.
Third, many men simply
refuse to talk to a woman they
are interested in at all because
they assume she isn’t going to
be interested. Who cares if
she isn’t interested in you?
There is only one way to find
out, and if she isn’t, oh well.
Not all people are compatible
with each other, so if she isn’t
interested it doesn’t mean
anything. Worst-case scenario,
you learn something
about women from the experience.
Best-case scenario,
you walk away with a date.
Sometimes men get turned
down, in fact, it happens a lot.
There really isn’t anything to
be afraid of, and it certainly
isn’t anything to be ashamed
of. Just by taking the initiative
and talking to a woman you
have already separated yourself
from the pack.
It is important to realize
that dealing with women is a
learning experience, and the
stakes aren’t as high as they
seem. If you strikeout, then
you strikeout, it’s no big deal.
You can just take what you
have learned and add it to
your pool of experience,
which will make you more
confident, and when it comes
to women, confidence is the
name of the game.